Can you still be "Fireproof" if your not married?

I missed last weekends service at church because I was at the women's retreat but I had known that it was the beginning of a new series entitled Fireproof. I had mixed feelings about even attending because It was a marriage based series and obviously, I no longer fall into that category. It almost felt as though I was venturing into something I wasn't sure I was really even ready for.

You see, Dan and I had only been on the same page in our marriage the year he died. I know now, looking back that it was all Gods plan. We went to a marriage seminar at the beginning of 2008 compliments of friends and it literally changed our lives and our marriage. We were at an amazing place in our marriage and were always looking for more to enhance and enrich it. Then, the Fireproof movie premiered. We both wanted to see it but never had the chance. He was just too sick to do much of anything and so, I sat it on my heart waiting for the opportunity. The desire to see the movie eventually faded as our marriage had, the moment I lost him.

Now, here I was having to face something that was literally torn from my heart. I wasn't sure how I'd react, let alone how my emotional state would be afterwards. Ironically, walking in to church was totally fine. I felt refreshed from the retreat and I was pretty happy. I was also not going to be alone at the service (which is huge) because my good friends were meeting me there. The series was amazing as they typically are at CCV. Then, they began talking about radically breaking free from the temptations that fuel you and the band played "AMAZING GRACE".

That song has profound meaning in my life. Somewhere in the middle of 2008, shortly after Dan, Bay and I were baptized, I had heard the Chris Tomlin version. Each time I would hear it, it brought me to tears. It's the song we played at the end of Dan's memorial because his chains were gone and he truly was set free.

So, as the band sang, people started standing up. I felt the tears welling up in my eyes and my sweet friend stood up with me and wrapped her arms around me as tightly as she could possibly get them. Emotion completely rose to the surface and I let go of all that I had apparently been holding in. At that moment, I was very much truly a widow. At that moment, I really didn't have a significant other. I was, *gulp*, alone. Thank God for Jenny because I don't think I could have faced much more of the service without her. Then as quickly as they had flowed, the tears stopped and I was as okay as I was gonna be in that moment.

I don't know what I'm supposed to learn from this. I don't know what Gods plan is in my life with all of this marriage series stuff but I'm pretty sure I will come away from it a stronger more confident woman of Christ. I'm also pretty certain that I can face all of it as long as He carries me (and He will) during the difficult and emotional parts. Which reminds me, I'm also thinking I probably need to continue to surround myself with amazing friends at service so I'm not sitting there alone. Hugs from loved ones during the tears are so much better than trying to hug yourself. Don'tcha think? At any rate, maybe you can be "Fireproof" and not be married.

Blessings,